for those who wander

Highly recommend Through Painted Deserts for anyone who has ever felt numb or lost in the molasses of everydayness.  It will make you feel alive and appreciate the eccentricities of life.  It will make you want to go outside and do something new.

Donald Miller is the only author I have read who has made me laugh aloud while nose deep in a book.  He just posted an excerpt on his blog.

reassurances

Not sure if I know how to accept this...

A poet has written, "the desire to feel loved is the last illusion: let it go and you will be free." Just as the sunrise of faith requires the sunset of our former unbelief, so the dawn of trust requires letting go of our spiritual consolations and tangible reassurances. Trust at the mercy of the response it receives is a bogus trust. All is uncertainty and anxiety. In trembling insecurity the disciple pleads for proofs from the Lord that her affection is returned. If she does not receive them, she is frustrated and starts to suspect that her relationship with Jesus is all over or that it never even existed.


If she does receive consolation, she is reassured, but only for a time. She presses for further proofs - each one less convincing than the one that went before. In the end the need to trust dies of pure frustration. What the disciple has not learned is that tangible reassurances, however valuable they may be, cannot create trust, sustain it, or guarantee any certainty of its presence. Jesus calls us to hand over our autonomous self in unshaken confidence. When the craving for reassurances is stifled, trust happens.

-Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

It could be that this constant craving for reassurance and requited love is one cause of my often frustrated faith. However, I cannot agree that the desire to be loved is something that we need to be weened from. People who have conditioned themselves to not seek love perhaps have done so as a defense mechanism because they felt unlovable. I believe that it is one of the basic yearnings of the soul and to be detached from that desire is to be something less than human. Thoughts?

remote

Spent the first half of the day at a manufacturing trade show at the Pasadena Convention Center.  Met a guy who I had spoken to over the phone many times over the years at my previous company.  We talked about how odd it is sometimes to put faces to familiar voices.  It is possible to work with someone for years and not know a thing about them.  Business relationships are an interesting thing.

I have been at a random Starbucks since noon relaxing and getting some work done.  Love being out of the office.  My rhinoceros of a laptop can handle any engineering task I throw at it just as well on the road.  I could really get used to this.  I am free to take Facebook and Kindle breaks whenever I need, but it is not really affecting my productivity.  I work well while distracted.  I wonder if this is what life as a writer would be like...

domo arigato

Painting finished!



The original

Sketching ideas

Pencil it in

Acyrlic paints and brushes from Amazon

Base coat in brown

Fill in the mouth and add eyes

Looking pretty good at this point, nice scale

Add teeth and eye reflections

A bit of shadowing

Finished!

On our living room wall

Adds some character

Messing around
Slideshow

phil wickham at pepperdine

Majorly impressed by Phil Wickham.  The man has some talent!  Captivated a crowd with just a mic and an acoustic guitar.  And a delay pedal.  Awesome stuff.  Caught a free concert with some friends at Pepperdine in Malibu.  The opener, Dominic Valli, was fantastic as well, I picked up one of his CDs. White man reggae. I can dig it.



















My lens fogged up for a bit






,

Quite a few more here.

paint update

After a couple hours spent reacquainting myself with Photoshop, trying to create a Godzilla stencil.  It was proving difficult and complicated, so I decided to go another route.  The new plan is to paint Domo-kun the Japanese poop monster coming out of the water.  Much easier to draw haha.  I just finished laying down the main body in acrylic.  Stay tuned for a full post when completed.  Looks like it might turn out pretty awesome...

tribute

News and War

I saw hell on the news
In the eyes of his best friend
I heard hell on the radio again

I saw blood on the streets in the town of my birth
I saw ten shooting stars fall to dust on the earth
And I heard the animal sobs of his mother
I heard her plaintive lament

And I tried to explain but my tongue held no words
And I looked to the north but the city had burned
While ten thousand marines fell like rain on the earth
And each one was weeping for all he was worth

And they prayed
Oh my God
I will never understand until my dying day

I met a man with a broken back of stone
Wild-eyed in the park by my home

And he told me a tale of a fellow who'd died
And he said, girl, you couldn't believe if you tried
There was glory upon him like sun on the water
And if you'd been there you'd have cried like his daughter

For the waves became still as the crowd bared its teeth
And the raging machine joined its hand with the beast
And they laughed with a sneer as he shuddered and creaked
And I locked to his eyes as the tears coursed his cheeks

And he prayed
Oh my God
 They will never understand until their dying day

-Alex Rhodes Fleeman

paint

I have a new idea.  Okay, it's not entirely a new idea. It's been done before. The idea is to take an old/bad/thrift store painting and paint over it to make it more interesting.

I have a friend who just took up painting and another friend who is getting rid of some old stuff.  Motive and opportunity.  Here's what we got.  An old print of "Golden Surf" by Robert Wood.

And here's a quick photoshop of what I want to do with it:

Not sure about the laser eyes at this point, it is still an idea in progress.  Plus, I don't know how to paint. Yes, this could turn out badly.  Stay tuned folks...

extravagent worship v.2

So I gave the message I was prepping for last week, but I ended up rewriting half of it.  I completely skimmed over the WHY of extravagent worship the first time.  I guess my motivations have evolved considerably over the last couple of years.  It also took a bit of work to tailor the message to its audience, but I relish the opportunity to speak specifically to the heart of people. 

A realization that comes most poignantly to me through preaching is that the pulpit is no pedestal.  A preacher stands apart from his audience, facing them, with the cross behind him.  As if he has the backing of God Himself.  But he has no special knowledge, no elevated level of holiness, no increased amount of blessing.  All he has is the attention of the crowd for a few short minutes. 

Standing between the cross and the crowd, there is no other time when it is more evident to me that my proper position is on my hands and knees.  It is a terrible day when a man begins to feel that his rightful place is in front of the people and not among them.

---

Extravagent Worship

Set the scene:
• Near the end of Jesus’ ministry
• 3 years with the disciples
• Right before Judas went to betray Jesus
• Right before the Last Supper
• Right before the cross
• Last few days to be with disciples

Jesus knows what was going to happen; he tells them repeatedly that he is going to leave them soon.

Springtime in Israel. A cool evening. Jesus, disciples, a few guests. Relaxing after a meal.

Jesus Anointed at Bethany
Mark 14:3-9

While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.

Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, "Why this waste of perfume? 5It could have been sold for more than a year's wages and the money given to the poor." And they rebuked her harshly.

"Leave her alone," said Jesus. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."

The book of Mark does not identify the woman, but Luke says it was a “woman who had lived a sinful life” (possibly Mary Magdalene), and John says it was Mary sister of Martha and Lazarus. So this is either a sinful woman who turned from her ways and followed Jesus, or someone who saw Jesus raise her brother from the dead. In either case, Jesus has given her something that has changed her.

The Nard she pours is a rare spice from the Himalayas and was very expensive. A typical alabaster jar was thin and not more than 6 or 8 inches high. One of them said it was worth more than a year’s wages. It is probably her most treasured possession. She may have kept it with her at all times, maybe wearing it around her neck. Something to be savored a little bit at a time. But instead of a sprinkling, she snaps the neck off the jar and empties it on Jesus. So this would be like a 40,000 dollar bottle of Chanel or Calvin Klein, or AXE body spray, sprayed completely out. Can you imagine? When the disciples saw this, one of them says,

"Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year's wages and the money given to the poor." And they rebuked her harshly.

I have to say I probably would have responded the same way. They could have done a lot of good with that money, or at least used the perfume slowly in sane amounts. I mean, be practical Mary. We do need be practical in order to manage our responsibilities and survive as students, and as employees, and as Christians. To be practical and efficient is to be a good steward of what God has given us.

But this is something so completely different, and Jesus recognized it. What Jesus saw in Mary was LOVE. And when someone is in love, practicality goes out the window. If you have ever loved someone like that, you know what I’m talking about. And if you haven’t, you still know it when you see it, because it is just insane. What Mary felt about Jesus was irrational, overwhelming, and looked crazy to the people witnessing it. But that is how love is supposed to work. A girl wouldn’t say to her boyfriend, “Boyfriend, thank you for loving me so efficiently.” Jesus understands this and calls her act of worship beautiful.

"Leave her alone," said Jesus. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me…You will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."

Jesus shows us that worship is not about practicality, it is about EXTRAVAGANCE. In few other situations would it be beautiful to use a $40,000 bottle of perfume like that. It is not about the amount of money. The kind of worship that pleases God is the kind that is able to at times ignore practicality to tell Him that He is worthy of all glory and every glory. When I talk about worship, I don’t mean singing Jesus songs or coming to church. It is something more personal, something more inward than outward. It includes all the things we do at church, but is not limited to it. When we worship extravagantly we are telling God that He is our real treasure. We are saying that our earthly treasures come from Him anyway and that we value the giver more than the gift.

Practicality is about returns, but extravagance does not care. There are two ways to fix a car. One way is to fix it for functionality, to replace what is broken just to get it running. This is the most efficient way. The second way is to restore it, to meticulously make sure that every nut and bolt is shiny, even polishing the underside that no one will ever see. Very few people will be able to appreciate the time and effort that goes into it. But that car becomes more than just transportation; it becomes a treasure to its owner. So how do we treat our relationship with God? Do we just make sure that we have enough faith to get us through the week, or do we allow it to become personal, and passionate, and beautiful?

This is our daily relationship with Jesus. Spending time with God is not about getting the biggest return for our investment. It’s not about fulfilling a spirituality quota, or checking off another thing on the to-do list. But that’s how we treat it sometimes, if we even get that far. Or we show up to church every week because that’s what Christians do, but the other 6 days of the week belong to us. Again, that isn’t how love works. Being in a relationship with someone is 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It means they are a part of your life, wherever you are.

So how does a practical relationship with God become an extravagant one? We can go back a couple chapters and look at the poor widow in Mark 12:41.

Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

We can only start from wherever we are. We see over and over again in the gospels that Jesus cares less about the external circumstances of a person and more about their heart. These 2 pennies from this poor widow was no less extravagant than Mary’s expensive perfume. If you have never prayed in your life, a two word prayer could be as extravagant as two hours of prayer from someone else. If you have never read the bible before, reading for just 5 minutes a day could be equally as big a step. The point is that we give what we can, but God is always ushering us toward a fully committed relationship to Him. Toward a relationship where nothing else is more valuable to us. Toward an extravagant kind of worship.

What I failed to cover the last time I gave this message I missed a very important point. We see now the kind of worship God desires from us, and a little bit of HOW. But the most important aspect is WHY? WHY does this woman decide to empty her most valuable possession on Jesus? WHY is this poor widow willing to give away what little she has to survive on?

See, Mary’s extravagant worship was not something she just decided to do on her own. It was a response. Jesus is in the business of loving the unlovable. What attracted people to him was that he was willing to associate with people that a man of his stature just wouldn’t. He was a teacher, a Rabbi, a prophet. Deserving of respect. Other men in his position would not have even gone near the house of Simon the Leper. Leprosy is a skin disease with no cure and lepers were considered unclean, sinful. They assumed that lepers did something to deserve their condition. They were less than human. Jesus could have stayed in any house in Bethany, but He chose Simon’s house. For Jesus to even walk inside is to say “Simon, though other men turn away from you in disgust, I acknowledge you as a human being, and I accept you as my friend.”

Mary, as a sinful woman, would have been shunned by society. She would have been used to being ignored, and looked down upon, and judged. Yet Jesus forgives her sins and welcomes her, even letting her touch him. Even just as a woman, she should never have entered the room where men were relaxing. Yet Jesus not only doesn’t rebuke her, he elevates her above the men in the room. This stuff was completely unheard of at the time. The important people were outraged by these kinds of things. Jesus was hated in polite society because he loved the unlovable. But the poor, the broken, the outcast, could only fall at his feet in worship.

And that’s what we are. Every single one of us; sinners, screw ups, unfaithful followers, men and women unworthy of God’s love. Yet he pours it out on us like expensive perfume from an alabaster jar. The vessel that was broken in order to deliver that love was Jesus himself, God’s most prized possession, sacrificed for us. Only this time, instead of Jesus being anointed for the cross…for death…we are anointed for life everlasting. Extravagant worship always comes at a cost, an expensive cost. But for Mary, her jar of expensive perfume was cheap in comparison to what Jesus had already given her. It was the only response she could have given. This is WHY extravagant worship is possible. Because God first loved US extravagantly.

So I will rejoin you now in lifting up a response to God, as forgiven sinners, as redeemed screw ups, as unworthy people trying to give up our alabaster jars in response to the alabaster jar broken for us on that cross 2000 years ago.

-Community 153-
August 28th, 2011

last day of summer

Malibu was WAYYY crowded this weekend. Guess most of LA thought it was a great day to spend at the beach. It was.
















Full set.