tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79850875812914104792024-03-12T19:20:22.903-07:00Soldiers and CiviliansI don't really know how to blog...Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.comBlogger310125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-46615103127242882892012-02-22T08:32:00.001-08:002012-02-22T08:32:43.168-08:00ash wednesdayBecause I do not hope to turn again<br />
Because I do not hope<br />
Because I do not hope to turn<br />
Desiring this man's gift and that man's scope<br />
I no longer strive to strive towards such things<br />
(Why should the aged eagle stretch its wings?)<br />
Why should I mourn<br />
The vanished power of the usual reign? <br />
<br />
Because I do not hope to know again<br />
The infirm glory of the positive hour<br />
Because I do not think<br />
Because I know I shall not know<br />
The one veritable transitory power<br />
Because I cannot drink<br />
There, where trees flower, and springs flow, for there is nothing again <br />
<br />
Because I know that time is always time<br />
And place is always and only place<br />
And what is actual is actual only for one time<br />
And only for one place<br />
I rejoice that things are as they are and<br />
I renounce the blessed face<br />
And renounce the voice<br />
Because I cannot hope to turn again<br />
Consequently I rejoice, having to construct something<br />
Upon which to rejoice <br />
<br />
And pray to God to have mercy upon us<br />
And pray that I may forget<br />
These matters that with myself I too much discuss<br />
Too much explain<br />
Because I do not hope to turn again<br />
Let these words answer<br />
For what is done, not to be done again<br />
May the judgement not be too heavy upon us<br />
<br />
Because these wings are no longer wings to fly<br />
But merely vans to beat the air<br />
The air which is now thoroughly small and dry<br />
Smaller and dryer than the will<br />
Teach us to care and not to care<br />
Teach us to sit still.<br />
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Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death<br />
Pray for us now and at the hour of our death.<br />
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-T S Eliot, "Ash-Wednesday"Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-83740735291156302232012-02-18T19:02:00.000-08:002012-02-18T19:02:41.277-08:00karamozov"It's the great mystery of human life that old grief passes gradually into quiet, tender joy. The mild serenity of age takes the place of the riotous blood of youth. I bless the rising sun each day, and, as before, my hearts sings to meet it, but now I love even more its setting, its long slanting rays and the soft, tender, gentle memories that come with them, the dear images from the whole of my long, happy life - and over all the Divine Truth, softening, reconciling, forgiving!<br />
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My life is ending, I know that well, but every day that is left me I feel how my earthly life is in touch with a new infinite, unknown, that approaching life, the nearness of which sets my soul quivering with rapture, my mind glowing and my heart weeping with joy."<br />
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- Fyodor Dostoyevsky, <u>The Brothers Karamozov</u>Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-19156979226298048432012-01-07T14:15:00.000-08:002012-01-07T14:15:07.689-08:002012<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Osq8c2QNMY0/TwjDuOu9zuI/AAAAAAAAAfk/XQVcXbhqmqY/s1600/406955_10100980943642896_2514140_65141015_355887804_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Osq8c2QNMY0/TwjDuOu9zuI/AAAAAAAAAfk/XQVcXbhqmqY/s320/406955_10100980943642896_2514140_65141015_355887804_n.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br />
I believe this is the longest I have gone since I started this whole thing between updates. Much is going on, too much perhaps. All good things though. I cannot remember a period in my life that I have been so happily occupied.<br />
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If you feel so inclined, feel free to ask me for details. 2012 is going to be a good year.Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-12921982973047632992011-11-21T08:57:00.000-08:002011-11-21T08:57:55.297-08:00apologiesDear Blog,<br />
I realize that I have been a bit distant as of late, but I hope you have not been feeling the tinge of resentment toward me. Good things have been happening! Good things that perhaps are too new and too exciting for me to share as of yet. You must admit that you cannot keep nary even a tiny secret, my old friend. Be assured, however, that though my attentions that have been focused elsewhere, my affection for you is not lacking nor waning.<br />
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I am happy to report that I have established a weekly meeting with my writing partner. Progress is occurring, albeit slowly and uncertainly. Unfortunately, it means that any time I would normally spend writing to you is being spent writing to that end. I hope to share with you soon news of great progress! <br />
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Until then my friend,<br />
NathanNathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-88484882607987176752011-11-09T09:18:00.000-08:002011-11-09T09:18:38.826-08:00joshua tree fisheyedFinally made it out to Joshua Tree after planning for a few months. On a whim, decided to buy a real fisheye lens, since I've been enjoying my cheap fisheye attachment so much lately. It's a Korean off-brand <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Rokinon-FE8M-C-F3-5-Fisheye-Canon/dp/B002LTXQUE/ref=sr_1_2?s=electronics&ie=UTF8&qid=1320857830&sr=1-2">full manual 8mm lens</a> at 1/3 of the price of a Canon branded lens.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">So. Worth. It. Pictures came out amazing.</div><br />
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<center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6327486925/" title="Picture 013 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 013" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6100/6327486925_3f34fa2409.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6328239462/" title="Picture 028 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 028" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6019/6328239462_0b5597cfef.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
<i>Lens flare very well controlled</i></center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6327492933/" title="Picture 040 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 040" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6031/6327492933_31944c682d.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6328244650/" title="Picture 046 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 046" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6097/6328244650_e5200a9f3e.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
<i>My buddy's leg after a run in with a cactus</i></center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6328246452/" title="Picture 052 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 052" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6047/6328246452_88f71a27dd.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6327510365/" title="Picture 142 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 142" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6116/6327510365_f5ec24ef1b.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6327513999/" title="Picture 166 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 166" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6057/6327513999_5c194f9d43.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6327482323/" title="Picture 253 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 253" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6231/6327482323_07034a7b40.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6328288334/" title="Picture 256 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 256" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6120/6328288334_e0e8babd1e.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6328288834/" title="Picture 257 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 257" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6031/6328288834_d34cc40ee6.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
<i>Didn't have much time for star shots :(</i></center><center><br />
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It is worth checking out the <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/sets/72157628087982762/show/">full set</a> I think.Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-10667954115488241662011-11-07T08:14:00.000-08:002011-11-07T08:14:07.855-08:00a long-desired happiness"Prince Andrew was galloping along in a post chaise enjoying the feelings of a man who has at length begun to attain a long-desired happiness. As soon as he closed his eyes his ears seemed filled with the rattle of the wheels and the sensation of victory."<br />
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-<u>War and Peace</u>, Leo TolstoyNathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-89601798522293035732011-11-04T08:15:00.000-07:002011-11-04T08:15:55.910-07:00all hallows' eveI figured this would be a good opportunity to get to know some of my coworkers. Nice break from the drudgery of the typical work day also.<br />
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<center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6308295548/" title="Picture 014 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 014" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6040/6308295548_ea627af5f6.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6307776001/" title="Picture 022 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 022" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6117/6307776001_1b5e6807f9.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6307777993/" title="Picture 025 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 025" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6097/6307777993_327f112876.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6308309904/" title="Picture 026 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 026" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6114/6308309904_aee340010e.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
<i>Me.</i></center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6308301460/" title="Picture 030 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 030" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6231/6308301460_3533a7d3bd.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6308310584/" title="Picture 041 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 041" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6043/6308310584_31f461edcb.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6308306216/" title="Picture 049 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 049" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6217/6308306216_af7b85335e.jpg" width="400" /></a></center>Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-87723786087113529572011-10-28T14:07:00.000-07:002011-10-28T14:14:56.566-07:00ehI guess my dad has no sense of nostalgia. <br />
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Also, I guess I already knew that. <br />
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Shrug.Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-44069541977964252262011-10-28T11:45:00.000-07:002011-10-28T14:14:30.379-07:00a healthy dose of nostalgiaI stumbled across this Craigslist ad in the course of my daily internet wanderings.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZwKAQG4wPnM/TqrzjZ6MEKI/AAAAAAAAAe8/nnaQSkbQFsg/s1600/delta88.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZwKAQG4wPnM/TqrzjZ6MEKI/AAAAAAAAAe8/nnaQSkbQFsg/s320/delta88.PNG" width="270" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
This car, a brown 1984 Oldsmobile Delta 88 sedan, is exactly the same as the car my parents brought me home from the hospital in. They purchased it brand new while my mom was pregnant in anticipation of their soon-to-be expanding family. This car stayed with us for years. I remember sitting in the driver's seat when we stopped for gas and pretending for a minute what it would be like to grown up. I remember my dad telling us he was going to catch up to the fastest car on the freeway and gunning it while I laughed. I remember overheating on the way to Vegas and being stuck on the roadside with the hood propped up and a light rain drizzling down. I remember seeing her on the side of the road with a "For Sale" sign after a Korean lady ran a red and T-boned the front end.<br />
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Is the memory of a better time worth $1100 and some garage space? I emailed the link to my parents just now. Wonder what feelings this familiarly shaped assembly of metal and rubber elicits from them.<br />
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EDIT: Now that I think about it, I think we actually had the 2 door version. I guess my parents were not ready to give up THAT much of their youth yet.Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-7520133563919560342011-10-26T09:04:00.000-07:002011-10-26T09:04:49.376-07:00tim burton at lacmaFirst time at LACMA and it was awesome. Tim Burton has done way more than I was aware of. What a unique and instantly recognizable style. It was interesting seeing his growth as an artist and how his characters became progressively more gaunt and disfigured. Too bad no pictures inside the exhibit.<br />
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I have no idea what he is like as a person, but one of the themes I really appreciate in his art is the contrast between external appearance and personality. His creations are grotesque on the outside but vulnerable and relatable and human on the inside.<br />
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Also, I finally got to see those lamps that are in everybody's Facebook profiles haha.<br />
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<center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6281893389/" title="Picture 005 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 005" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6211/6281893389_2034571f0c.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6282413430/" title="Picture 025 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 025" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6111/6282413430_37eb65d528.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6281902011/" title="Picture 054 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 054" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6097/6281902011_43f9da3d5d.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6281904645/" title="Picture 065 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 065" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6051/6281904645_d4c7ef780d.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6282422464/" title="Studebaker Avanti by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Studebaker Avanti" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6106/6282422464_b271970c76.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6282424974/" title="Picture 082 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 082" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6224/6282424974_dd94664c9f.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6281911987/" title="Picture 096 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 096" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6045/6281911987_9dd24f0281.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6282429328/" title="Picture 099 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 099" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6057/6282429328_8783246c92.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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</center><center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6282429990/" title="Picture 101 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 101" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6040/6282429990_2ddf9b5d70.jpg" width="400" /></a></center><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/sets/72157627980623996/show/">Slideshow.</a>Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-29366624298224984082011-10-25T08:56:00.000-07:002011-10-25T08:59:17.131-07:00for those who wanderHighly recommend <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Through-Painted-Deserts-Light-Beauty/dp/0785209824/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1319558066&sr=8-1">Through Painted Deserts</a> for anyone who has ever felt numb or lost in the molasses of everydayness. It will make you feel alive and appreciate the eccentricities of life. It will make you want to go outside and do something new.<br />
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Donald Miller is the only author I have read who has made me laugh aloud while nose deep in a book. He just posted an <a href="http://donmilleris.com/2011/10/25/one-story-alone/">excerpt on his blog</a>.Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-22968404678535490442011-10-15T22:43:00.000-07:002011-10-15T22:45:17.812-07:00reassurancesNot sure if I know how to accept this...<br />
<blockquote><i>A poet has written, "the desire to feel loved is the last illusion: let it go and you will be free." Just as the sunrise of faith requires the sunset of our former unbelief, so the dawn of trust requires letting go of our spiritual consolations and tangible reassurances. Trust at the mercy of the response it receives is a bogus trust. All is uncertainty and anxiety. In trembling insecurity the disciple pleads for proofs from the Lord that her affection is returned. If she does not receive them, she is frustrated and starts to suspect that her relationship with Jesus is all over or that it never even existed. </i><br />
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<i>If she does receive consolation, she is reassured, but only for a time. She presses for further proofs - each one less convincing than the one that went before. In the end the need to trust dies of pure frustration. What the disciple has not learned is that tangible reassurances, however valuable they may be, cannot create trust, sustain it, or guarantee any certainty of its presence. Jesus calls us to hand over our autonomous self in unshaken confidence. When the craving for reassurances is stifled, trust happens.</i><br />
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<i>-Brennan Manning, <u>The Ragamuffin Gospel</u></i> </blockquote>It could be that this constant craving for reassurance and requited love is one cause of my often frustrated faith. However, I cannot agree that the desire to be loved is something that we need to be weened from. People who have conditioned themselves to not seek love perhaps have done so as a defense mechanism because they felt unlovable. I believe that it is one of the basic yearnings of the soul and to be detached from that desire is to be something less than human. Thoughts?Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-43939343210226257492011-10-13T15:27:00.000-07:002011-10-13T15:27:05.184-07:00remoteSpent the first half of the day at a manufacturing trade show at the Pasadena Convention Center. Met a guy who I had spoken to over the phone many times over the years at my previous company. We talked about how odd it is sometimes to put faces to familiar voices. It is possible to work with someone for years and not know a thing about them. Business relationships are an interesting thing. <br />
<br />
I have been at a random Starbucks since noon relaxing and getting some work done. Love being out of the office. My rhinoceros of a laptop can handle any engineering task I throw at it just as well on the road. I could really get used to this. I am free to take Facebook and Kindle breaks whenever I need, but it is not really affecting my productivity. I work well while distracted. I wonder if this is what life as a writer would be like...Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-63215294965737950152011-10-10T12:46:00.000-07:002011-10-10T12:47:30.307-07:00domo arigatoPainting finished!<br />
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<center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6225400040/" title="Picture 003 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 003" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6110/6225400040_bf0e9cc874.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
The original</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6225400922/" title="Picture 006 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 006" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6240/6225400922_762440c849.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
Sketching ideas</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6224883977/" title="Picture 011 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 011" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6170/6224883977_58fa733a0c.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
Pencil it in</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6225404746/" title="Picture 015 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 015" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6229/6225404746_2ec5020780.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
Acyrlic paints and brushes from Amazon</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6225405936/" title="Picture 017 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 017" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6161/6225405936_5c376a5c42.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
Base coat in brown</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6225413048/" title="Picture 046 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 046" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6120/6225413048_6472a97bda.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
Fill in the mouth and add eyes</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6224895915/" title="Picture 056 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 056" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6178/6224895915_07e31bc622.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
Looking pretty good at this point, nice scale</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6225416102/" title="Picture 062 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 062" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6037/6225416102_835871a728.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
Add teeth and eye reflections</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6225418552/" title="Picture 066 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 066" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6036/6225418552_d6abfb6f14.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
A bit of shadowing</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6224901945/" title="Picture 074 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 074" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6226/6224901945_f4e3ea6ea5.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
Finished!</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6224902743/" title="Picture 083 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 083" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6048/6224902743_da0df8f141.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
On our living room wall</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6225422274/" title="Picture 084 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 084" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6211/6225422274_ea9de4b1e1.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
Adds some character</center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6225422912/" title="Picture 085 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 085" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6154/6225422912_2cb315f826.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
Messing around</center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/sets/72157627725510659/show/">Slideshow</a>Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-53115984262475605722011-10-07T23:49:00.000-07:002011-10-07T23:51:00.974-07:00phil wickham at pepperdineMajorly impressed by Phil Wickham. The man has some talent! Captivated a crowd with just a mic and an acoustic guitar. And a delay pedal. Awesome stuff. Caught a free concert with some friends at Pepperdine in Malibu. The opener, Dominic Valli, was fantastic as well, I picked up one of his CDs. White man reggae. I can dig it.<br />
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<center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6222184920/" title="Picture 018 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 018" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6099/6222184920_de4b5e373d.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6222186360/" title="Picture 028 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 028" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6092/6222186360_ddb8a40dcb.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6222187374/" title="Picture 033 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 033" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6215/6222187374_efeb534d60.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6222191694/" title="Picture 080 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 080" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6045/6222191694_fb631259ab.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6221661039/" title="Picture 089 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 089" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6239/6221661039_324dacd5d5.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6222195220/" title="Picture 097 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 097" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6152/6222195220_db9c5594f9.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6221675301/" title="Picture 107 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 107" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6057/6221675301_c3e1e403a5.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6222196814/" title="Picture 109 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 109" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6049/6222196814_b35ef49f34.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6221677239/" title="Picture 134 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 134" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6175/6221677239_e9f50e284b.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
<i>My lens fogged up for a bit</i></center><center><br />
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6221678993/" title="Picture 145 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 145" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6034/6221678993_f7919ea373.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6222201818/" title="Picture 161 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 161" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6233/6222201818_c6e4d8c967.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6221662685/" title="Picture 175 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 175" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6228/6221662685_154072474e.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6222202214/" title="Picture 180 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 180" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6221/6222202214_4e4b0a0dd8.jpg" width="333" /></a>,</center><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/sets/72157627718625193/detail/">Quite a few more here.</a>Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-1086102606770113532011-10-03T22:07:00.000-07:002011-10-03T22:08:02.662-07:00paint updateAfter a couple hours spent reacquainting myself with Photoshop, trying to create a Godzilla stencil. It was proving difficult and complicated, so I decided to go another route. The new plan is to paint Domo-kun the Japanese poop monster coming out of the water. Much easier to draw haha. I just finished laying down the main body in acrylic. Stay tuned for a full post when completed. Looks like it might turn out pretty awesome...Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-41366367439369720822011-09-12T22:09:00.000-07:002011-09-12T22:09:55.097-07:00tribute<b>News and War</b><br />
<br />
I saw hell on the news<br />
In the eyes of his best friend<br />
I heard hell on the radio again<br />
<br />
I saw blood on the streets in the town of my birth<br />
I saw ten shooting stars fall to dust on the earth<br />
And I heard the animal sobs of his mother<br />
I heard her plaintive lament<br />
<br />
And I tried to explain but my tongue held no words<br />
And I looked to the north but the city had burned<br />
While ten thousand marines fell like rain on the earth<br />
And each one was weeping for all he was worth<br />
<br />
And they prayed<br />
Oh my God<br />
I will never understand until my dying day<br />
<br />
I met a man with a broken back of stone<br />
Wild-eyed in the park by my home<br />
<br />
And he told me a tale of a fellow who'd died<br />
And he said, girl, you couldn't believe if you tried<br />
There was glory upon him like sun on the water<br />
And if you'd been there you'd have cried like his daughter<br />
<br />
For the waves became still as the crowd bared its teeth<br />
And the raging machine joined its hand with the beast<br />
And they laughed with a sneer as he shuddered and creaked<br />
And I locked to his eyes as the tears coursed his cheeks<br />
<br />
And he prayed<br />
Oh my God<br />
They will never understand until their dying day<br />
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-Alex Rhodes FleemanNathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-58876612621235801272011-09-09T21:41:00.000-07:002011-09-09T21:43:44.318-07:00paintI have a new idea. Okay, it's not entirely a new idea. It's been <a href="http://thewurstgallery.com/vintage_vandals.html">done before</a>. The idea is to take an old/bad/thrift store painting and paint over it to make it more interesting. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a "="" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u6at3pk876U/TmrobOSV9pI/AAAAAAAAAek/2F5A3bsEONw/s1600/rollover_before-over.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="270" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u6at3pk876U/TmrobOSV9pI/AAAAAAAAAek/2F5A3bsEONw/s400/rollover_before-over.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
I have a friend who just took up painting and another friend who is getting rid of some old stuff. Motive and opportunity. Here's what we got. An old print of "Golden Surf" by <a href="http://www.robertwood.net/">Robert Wood</a>.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aFvw8X11pT8/Tmro1GiwKuI/AAAAAAAAAeo/p1oEqZ41VuI/s1600/312168_10150772238690134_776925133_20427506_1140261_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" "><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aFvw8X11pT8/Tmro1GiwKuI/AAAAAAAAAeo/p1oEqZ41VuI/s320/312168_10150772238690134_776925133_20427506_1140261_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
And here's a quick photoshop of what I want to do with it:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9tH4YFWQHEA/TmrpzS5BurI/AAAAAAAAAes/_7fBT9XXDOc/s1600/paint.jpg" imageanchor="1""><img border="0" height="164" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9tH4YFWQHEA/TmrpzS5BurI/AAAAAAAAAes/_7fBT9XXDOc/s320/paint.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />
Not sure about the laser eyes at this point, it is still an idea in progress. Plus, I don't know how to paint. Yes, this could turn out badly. Stay tuned folks...Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-36209168389698102512011-09-02T10:00:00.000-07:002011-09-02T10:14:16.642-07:00extravagent worship v.2So I gave the message I was <a href="http://soldiersandcivilians.blogspot.com/2011/08/progress.html">prepping for</a> last week, but I ended up rewriting half of it. I completely skimmed over the WHY of extravagent worship the <a href="http://soldiersandcivilians.blogspot.com/2009/05/extravagant-worship.html">first time</a>. I guess my motivations have evolved considerably over the last couple of years. It also took a bit of work to tailor the message to its audience, but I relish the opportunity to speak specifically to the heart of people. <br />
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A realization that comes most poignantly to me through preaching is that the pulpit is no pedestal. A preacher stands apart from his audience, facing them, with the cross behind him. As if he has the backing of God Himself. But he has no special knowledge, no elevated level of holiness, no increased amount of blessing. All he has is the attention of the crowd for a few short minutes. <br />
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Standing between the cross and the crowd, there is no other time when it is more evident to me that my proper position is on my hands and knees. It is a terrible day when a man begins to feel that his rightful place is in front of the people and not among them.<br />
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<hr /><strong>Extravagent Worship</strong><br />
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Set the scene:<br />
• Near the end of Jesus’ ministry<br />
• 3 years with the disciples<br />
• Right before Judas went to betray Jesus<br />
• Right before the Last Supper<br />
• Right before the cross <br />
• Last few days to be with disciples<br />
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Jesus knows what was going to happen; he tells them repeatedly that he is going to leave them soon. <br />
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Springtime in Israel. A cool evening. Jesus, disciples, a few guests. Relaxing after a meal.<br />
<blockquote><strong>Jesus Anointed at Bethany </strong><br />
Mark 14:3-9<br />
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<em>While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.</em><br />
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<em>Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, "Why this waste of perfume? 5It could have been sold for more than a year's wages and the money given to the poor." And they rebuked her harshly.</em><br />
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<em>"Leave her alone," said Jesus. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."</em></blockquote>The book of Mark does not identify the woman, but Luke says it was a “woman who had lived a sinful life” (possibly Mary Magdalene), and John says it was Mary sister of Martha and Lazarus. So this is either a sinful woman who turned from her ways and followed Jesus, or someone who saw Jesus raise her brother from the dead. In either case, Jesus has given her something that has changed her.<br />
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The Nard she pours is a rare spice from the Himalayas and was very expensive. A typical alabaster jar was thin and not more than 6 or 8 inches high. One of them said it was worth more than a year’s wages. It is probably her most treasured possession. She may have kept it with her at all times, maybe wearing it around her neck. Something to be savored a little bit at a time. But instead of a sprinkling, she snaps the neck off the jar and empties it on Jesus. So this would be like a 40,000 dollar bottle of Chanel or Calvin Klein, or AXE body spray, sprayed completely out. Can you imagine? When the disciples saw this, one of them says,<br />
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<em>"Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year's wages and the money given to the poor." And they rebuked her harshly.</em><br />
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I have to say I probably would have responded the same way. They could have done a lot of good with that money, or at least used the perfume slowly in sane amounts. I mean, be practical Mary. We do need be practical in order to manage our responsibilities and survive as students, and as employees, and as Christians. To be practical and efficient is to be a good steward of what God has given us. <br />
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But this is something so completely different, and Jesus recognized it. What Jesus saw in Mary was LOVE. And when someone is in love, practicality goes out the window. If you have ever loved someone like that, you know what I’m talking about. And if you haven’t, you still know it when you see it, because it is just insane. What Mary felt about Jesus was irrational, overwhelming, and looked crazy to the people witnessing it. But that is how love is supposed to work. A girl wouldn’t say to her boyfriend, “Boyfriend, thank you for loving me so efficiently.” Jesus understands this and calls her act of worship beautiful.<br />
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<em>"Leave her alone," said Jesus. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me…You will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."</em><br />
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Jesus shows us that worship is not about practicality, it is about EXTRAVAGANCE. In few other situations would it be beautiful to use a $40,000 bottle of perfume like that. It is not about the amount of money. The kind of worship that pleases God is the kind that is able to at times ignore practicality to tell Him that He is worthy of all glory and every glory. When I talk about worship, I don’t mean singing Jesus songs or coming to church. It is something more personal, something more inward than outward. It includes all the things we do at church, but is not limited to it. When we worship extravagantly we are telling God that He is our real treasure. We are saying that our earthly treasures come from Him anyway and that we value the giver more than the gift.<br />
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Practicality is about returns, but extravagance does not care. There are two ways to fix a car. One way is to fix it for functionality, to replace what is broken just to get it running. This is the most efficient way. The second way is to restore it, to meticulously make sure that every nut and bolt is shiny, even polishing the underside that no one will ever see. Very few people will be able to appreciate the time and effort that goes into it. But that car becomes more than just transportation; it becomes a treasure to its owner. So how do we treat our relationship with God? Do we just make sure that we have enough faith to get us through the week, or do we allow it to become personal, and passionate, and beautiful?<br />
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This is our daily relationship with Jesus. Spending time with God is not about getting the biggest return for our investment. It’s not about fulfilling a spirituality quota, or checking off another thing on the to-do list. But that’s how we treat it sometimes, if we even get that far. Or we show up to church every week because that’s what Christians do, but the other 6 days of the week belong to us. Again, that isn’t how love works. Being in a relationship with someone is 7 days a week, 365 days a year. It means they are a part of your life, wherever you are. <br />
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So how does a practical relationship with God become an extravagant one? We can go back a couple chapters and look at the poor widow in Mark 12:41.<br />
<blockquote><em>Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. </em><br />
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<em>Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”</em> </blockquote>We can only start from wherever we are. We see over and over again in the gospels that Jesus cares less about the external circumstances of a person and more about their heart. These 2 pennies from this poor widow was no less extravagant than Mary’s expensive perfume. If you have never prayed in your life, a two word prayer could be as extravagant as two hours of prayer from someone else. If you have never read the bible before, reading for just 5 minutes a day could be equally as big a step. The point is that we give what we can, but God is always ushering us toward a fully committed relationship to Him. Toward a relationship where nothing else is more valuable to us. Toward an extravagant kind of worship.<br />
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What I failed to cover the last time I gave this message I missed a very important point. We see now the kind of worship God desires from us, and a little bit of HOW. But the most important aspect is WHY? WHY does this woman decide to empty her most valuable possession on Jesus? WHY is this poor widow willing to give away what little she has to survive on? <br />
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See, Mary’s extravagant worship was not something she just decided to do on her own. It was a response. Jesus is in the business of loving the unlovable. What attracted people to him was that he was willing to associate with people that a man of his stature just wouldn’t. He was a teacher, a Rabbi, a prophet. Deserving of respect. Other men in his position would not have even gone near the house of Simon the Leper. Leprosy is a skin disease with no cure and lepers were considered unclean, sinful. They assumed that lepers did something to deserve their condition. They were less than human. Jesus could have stayed in any house in Bethany, but He chose Simon’s house. For Jesus to even walk inside is to say “Simon, though other men turn away from you in disgust, I acknowledge you as a human being, and I accept you as my friend.”<br />
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Mary, as a sinful woman, would have been shunned by society. She would have been used to being ignored, and looked down upon, and judged. Yet Jesus forgives her sins and welcomes her, even letting her touch him. Even just as a woman, she should never have entered the room where men were relaxing. Yet Jesus not only doesn’t rebuke her, he elevates her above the men in the room. This stuff was completely unheard of at the time. The important people were outraged by these kinds of things. Jesus was hated in polite society because he loved the unlovable. But the poor, the broken, the outcast, could only fall at his feet in worship. <br />
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And that’s what we are. Every single one of us; sinners, screw ups, unfaithful followers, men and women unworthy of God’s love. Yet he pours it out on us like expensive perfume from an alabaster jar. The vessel that was broken in order to deliver that love was Jesus himself, God’s most prized possession, sacrificed for us. Only this time, instead of Jesus being anointed for the cross…for death…we are anointed for life everlasting. Extravagant worship always comes at a cost, an expensive cost. But for Mary, her jar of expensive perfume was cheap in comparison to what Jesus had already given her. It was the only response she could have given. This is WHY extravagant worship is possible. Because God first loved US extravagantly.<br />
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So I will rejoin you now in lifting up a response to God, as forgiven sinners, as redeemed screw ups, as unworthy people trying to give up our alabaster jars in response to the alabaster jar broken for us on that cross 2000 years ago.<br />
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<em>-Community 153-</em><br />
<em>August 28th, 2011</em>Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-79283521458425816812011-08-30T12:38:00.000-07:002011-08-30T12:38:25.847-07:00last day of summerMalibu was WAYYY crowded this weekend. Guess most of LA thought it was a great day to spend at the beach. It was.<br />
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<center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6094982079/" title="Giant Woman by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Giant Woman" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6191/6094982079_a411e0ec7f.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6094985723/" title="More Chase by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="More Chase" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6083/6094985723_7a711c10bb.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6094988573/" title="Ada and Bonnie by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Ada and Bonnie" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6181/6094988573_120991a834.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6094992935/" title="Wilson with Boat by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Wilson with Boat" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6064/6094992935_6e54d7a969.jpg" width="333" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6095535712/" title="Malibu Seafood Market by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Malibu Seafood Market" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6078/6095535712_be82bea0fe.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/6095537178/" title="California Lovin by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="California Lovin" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6200/6095537178_d558f268ae.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/sets/72157627551222828/with/6094997589/">Full set.</a>Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-84806910090574812692011-08-25T21:13:00.000-07:002011-08-25T21:13:23.982-07:00progressI can't say unplugging has been easy, or that I've been as consistent as I hoped, but it has been helping a bit. I am starting to recapture a bit of the inner monologue that had been seeking to be replaced with outer distraction. The longer commute and busier work pretty much wipe me out by the time I get home. The temptation to veg is sometimes overwhelming.<br />
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Tonight I am working on a message that I am giving on Sunday. I'm just going to <a href="http://soldiersandcivilians.blogspot.com/2009/05/extravagant-worship.html">recycle</a> something I wrote a few years ago, but I've been putting off refreshing myself on it. Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-31321436421794630132011-08-15T13:07:00.000-07:002011-08-15T14:27:24.923-07:00unplugAfter spending three weeks on the road for work, I have realized how unfocused I really am these days. Even with few of the usual distractions in my lonely hotel room, I maybe got in one productive night. That night was cancelled out by a different night wasted watching Jersey Shore reruns.<br />
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I want to be better. I have so many things I want to work on.<br />
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I am self-instituting a ban on all distractions after 9:00 PM on weekdays. 9:00 PM will be my creating/renewing time. If you see me online/being a bum after 9:00 feel free to get all up in my face about it.<br />
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Things to do in said time:<br />
<ul><li>Read</li>
<li>QT</li>
<li>Journal</li>
<li>Work on <a href="http://soldiersandcivilians.blogspot.com/2011/06/book-project.html">book</a></li>
<li>Write music</li>
<li>Play guitar</li>
<li>Figure out <a href="http://www.korg.com/EMX1">music toy</a></li>
<li>Build stuff</li>
<li>Go for a walk</li>
<li>Ponder life</li>
</ul>Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-46818394324513418682011-08-14T08:18:00.000-07:002011-08-14T18:03:33.072-07:00a little bit of the burnBurnout.<br />
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Frankly I'm surprised it hasn't come earlier.<br />
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Is there a cure?Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-12973700692102329422011-08-01T15:55:00.000-07:002011-08-01T15:57:09.152-07:00back to the getty<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/5991668123/" title="Picture 002 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 002" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6129/5991668123_35bcc3cbcc.jpg" width="333" /></a></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div><div align="center"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/5991678901/" title="Picture 071 by natelee, on Flickr"><img \alt="Picture 071" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6025/5991678901_8ebd6d2dd2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/5992239940/" title="Picture 080 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 080" height="500" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6121/5992239940_67694cec36.jpg" width="333" /></a></div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center"><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/5992241652/" title="Picture 088 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 088" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6020/5992241652_3ffb17cf6b.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7985087581291410479.post-73741912991825923442011-07-29T23:47:00.000-07:002011-07-29T23:47:37.267-07:00baby shower the firstThe first of two.<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/5988820681/" title="Picture 161 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 161" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6027/5988820681_8991a60b87.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/5989391456/" title="Picture 295 by natelee, on Flickr"><img alt="Picture 295" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6013/5989391456_b5edd77b62.jpg" width="400" /></a><br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/natelee/sets/72157627311822242/show/">Full set</a>Nathanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02171290292852230695noreply@blogger.com1