Tuesday, June 28, 2011

the latest nuptials

Stephen and Charming, Altadena Country Club. Took a few more photos than usual. The more you take, the more you have to edit. So I'm kinda sick of these now. Full set on Flickr, link at end of post. Enjoy!

peeking out

flower girl 4

down the steps 2

rings 2

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mother son dance

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Plenty more where these came from.

Monday, June 20, 2011

it's complicated

Father's Day this year was pretty pleasant.  I drove home on Saturday for dinner but my mom had a wedding reception to attend, so it was just me and my dad.  Out of all the places we could have eaten, he wanted KFC.  Original recipe.  From one specific KFC, because the other one wasn't as good.  We were the only ones that evening celebrating Father's Day with fried chicken.  Then he wanted to use a couple Baskin Robbins coupons that he had been holding onto for years so we did that.  It was still pretty early and the sun was out when we got home, so we spent an hour or so washing and waxing my car.  My job is still pretty new, so we had more than usual to talk about.  Altogether unusually pleasant.  Which is strange because a matter of months ago I had all but given up on the relationship and thought him the worst person in the world.  Odd thing how family dynamics ebb and flow.

I am writing this, however, at 4:30 AM after having woken up in a sweat.  I dreamed that my father was acting like the worst person in the world again.  Like teeth clenchingly, screaming cuss fest bad.  So bad that I woke up angry and out of breath.  I remember specifically recalling in the dream that Father's Day was only two days ago and had gone well.  I walked out to the living room for some water and felt I should write this out, perhaps against my better judgement.  The 5:00 AM world is still half-enveloped in a cloud of haze, both outside my window and in my mind.  Anyway, I know that one of the keys to this complicated relationship is the dropping of all expectations and a love that is blind to flaws.  It is difficult because of so much past disappointment and circumstance and I hope I have at least a few more Father's Days to figure it out.  I guess this would be a good time to pray a little before I drift back to sleep and maybe to more pleasant dreams.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

book project

I have been meeting a friend for lunch every Thursday for the last three and a half years. He worked down the street from me in El Segundo so it was a short drive and a long lunch once a week. It was a great time, something consistent that I needed through the ups and downs of the last few years. Now that I work fifty some miles from El Segundo, those lunches are no longer possible. They will be missed.

I have offered to help him with a stalled book project that he has been working on for a handful of years. Its working title is "When God is Not Enough" and it is written for Christians who have experienced God in a visceral way, but have for whatever reason lost a part of that intimate connection. For those who have trouble reconciling what they see in the church with what they experience in the world. For those who are disillusioned, dissapointed, and frustrated with God, but not enough to forget Him. In other words, right up my alley.

Hopefully, this will keep the friendship alive and help me work through some of my lingering issues. I enjoy writing, but I have trouble writing more than a blog entry at a time, so this will be a challenge.  Also trying to figure out how dual authorship works, specifically when the authors are approaching the subject from different angles. A dialog perhaps, or is that off-putting? I hope our styles compliment each other.

Suggestions and stories welcome, readers.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

nothing to report

I go back and forth between being really stressed and utterly bored.  I have five projects to work on, but very little information to go off of and nobody to ask.  The boss has been out since last Thursday.  Moorpark is a pretty small town.  I'm thinking if it might be fun to Metrolink into work one of these days.  It's not really cheaper than driving though.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

memorial day weekend

No clever title this time. Too tired busting my butt at this new job. Got five projects already and I'm still trying to relearn software I haven't used since college. The senior mechanical engineer quit just before I started, so yeah. Promotion by default? No thanks. Not into working THAT hard at work.

Balboa Park with Rob

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Oceans and islands?

  Doing silly things for the shot

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Submerged plants look ghostly

Big Bear Retreat with Evergreen SGV


sweet dreams

stay warm

all smiles
It snowed briefly :)

turn around