faith and works

For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done.
Matthew 16:27

If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.
1 Corinthians 3:14-15

Watch out that you do not lose what you have worked for, but that you may be rewarded fully.
2 John 1:8

If we have been saved by grace, not by works, how can there exist a concept of heavenly rewards according to earthly deeds? Why does scripture repeatedly refer to a rewards system based on what we do on earth? What is so reprehensible about barely escaping through the flames if the ultimate reward in heaven is God Himself? I thought that the worker who is hired at the end of the day is paid the same as the one hired in the morning.

My only concrete understanding of heaven is eternal fellowship with God, where worship exists without corruption nor fatigue nor apathy. And everyone in heaven participates, whether they entered by an inch or a mile. So why a rewards system? Will we stare jealously at our neighbor's house which is gilded with gold from our own which is gilded with silver? I cannot believe that heaven will contain such human fallacies. I believe our attentions will be so captivated by Glory that we will hardly notice ourselves, much less our surroundings.

Faith without deeds is dead, that much is understandable. Could these rewards be a motivator for the less initiated? The idea of a heavenly reward can and does drive many people to labor for God, even if it doesn't make any difference. But I can't believe that God would be so...manipulative. It's not consistent with His personality to create vestigial motivators. If good works do not come out of a desire for God, they are but dirty rags.

How can such a paradox, if not an outright contradiction, exist within scripture which is supposed to be infallible? The only way I can rationalize it is by arguing that life is paradoxical. We are walking contradictions. Shine a red light on a yellow scrap of paper and it will look red. Shine a green light on that same scrap and it will look green. (I think.) Only white light reveals true colors. It is important not to shelve our doubts, but to wrestle over them. God could have called his people whatever He wanted to, but he chose the name "Israel," which means "wrestles with God."

Please share your thoughts. Maybe our different colored flashlights will combine into something resembling white light.

forgiven and loved

Tell me I’m forgiven and loved
‘Cause I hear it from the street corner priests
On how God is love and how man can be clean
But my joy has been on holiday
And my peace has almost passed away
Tell me I’m forgiven and free

Oh I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation
But I bought the lie I still have work to do
Now I’m working nine to five like I can earn my own salvation
But there is no condemnation in You

Oh whisper to me now that it’s for real
‘Cause in the silence of these walls righteousness lost its appeal
Dirty deeds have done me in
Oh but that can’t stop the faithful friend
Giving mercy once again as You heal
Here it is I’m feeling it

Oh He died, He died to rectify my hopeless situation
And His blood commands my guilt to leave
Now on Calvary I stand
Empty pockets, open hands
Oh there is no condemnation for me

Child, you’re forgiven and loved
Child, you’re forgiven and loved
Child, you’re forgiven
And child, you are loved
Child, you’re forgiven and loved

the measure of a man

Is part of the measure of a man in his ability to soldier on indefinitely? To wear a pleasant face when situations are not pleasant? To ignore emotion when emotions beckon?

Is lacking stoicism a sign of weakness?

Answer me or I will have no reaction either way!

the apt

Getting acquainted with a new lens.

Hover bike!

Toys toys toys.

Unimpressive.

Finally have room to set all this stuff up.

Guaca-yummy.

Noise complaint machine.

something vs someone

It's so easy to find worth in what we have to offer instead of who we are. We strive for the qualities or achievements which allow us to fit in with different kinds of people. 'If I wear these clothes and drive this car, she will like me,' or 'If I am knowledgeable about this subject, they will respect me,' or 'If I don't meet these requirements, he will be so disappointed.' Colleges look for GPAs and extracurricular activities, employers look for achievements and experience, and friends look at everything else.

We are driven to make something of ourselves, but that ambition makes us only the sum of our accomplishments, it reduces a person to a résumé. Feeling productive and accomplished often becomes my idol. Every minute that passes idle seems like a minute wasted. Hard to enjoy living when life seems like a race to get everything done before the timer goes off (Iron Chef style).

We are not to live as plaques on a wall. I want to stop trying to be something and start trying to be someone. Someone show me how please.

sail the sea

Wrote a new song earlier tonight sitting on my balcony thinking about Where the Wild Things Are. My balcony is pretty chill, just installed some mood lights. It's kinda loud too and I was using my laptop mic, so the audio sucks. Oh well, deal with it.



Oh I would sail the sea
Fight the ocean endlessly
To take back what belongs to me

The moon it glows
It’s gravity throws
The compass of my heart to where
An “X” will mark the spot and there

We could run around
We could build a home
We could laugh and play and jump for joy
Make a mess and walk away

These four walls
Do not a prison make
I’ll cut the bars and blow the doors
Sing the guard a song it goes like this
La la la

And he’ll let me free
Send me on my way
Clap his hands and stamp his feet
Tip his hat and say to me

“You should sail the sea
Fight the waves endlessly
I want you to forget about me.”

We have run around
We have built a home
We have laughed and played and jumped for joy
Made a mess and walked away

Now its time for bed
You sleepy heads
By the light of the rising moon
I can’t help but sing this tune
La la la

fix you

Spent some time trying to fix some pictures that were otherwise blurry/poorly lighted/uninteresting. Bad picture = art? I'm not sure. Here are some of my favorites in full res. See the rest here.

what men live by

"I knew before that God gives life to men, and desires them to live; but now I know far more. I know that God does not desire men to live apart from each other, and therefore has not revealed to them what is needful for each of them to live by himself. He wishes them to live together united, and therefore has revealed to them that they are needful to each other's happiness.

"I know now that people only seem to live when they care only for themselves, and that it is by love for others that they really live. He who has Love has God in him, and is in God- because God is Love."

And the Angel sang the glory of God, that the house trembled at his voice, and the roof parted asunder, and a pillar of fire shot up from earth to Heaven. Simon and his wife fell down with their faces to the ground; and wings burst forth from the Angel's shoulders, and he rose into Heaven.

And when Simon raised his eyes again, the house stood there as before, and in the house there was no one but his own dear family.

-Leo Tolstoy, What Men Live By

make music

Man these things look like fun.





Not really expecting anyone to care, but currently expanding effects pedal collection.

Currently:

Morley Tremonti Wah
Morley Volume
Boss TU-2 Tuner
Boss SD-1 Super Overdrive
Marshall Guv'nor Distortion (Classic)
MXR Carbon Copy Analog Delay
DigiTech RV-7 Stereo Reverb

Any suggestions?

dust and discipleship

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
-John 8:31-32

Christian discipleship is a relationship of imitation and reproduction. To be a Christian is to be a “Little Christ.” We are ultimately disciples of Jesus, but, since the Twelve, we follow by proxy. Discipleship is to follow someone as they follow Christ. And there are as many ways to follow God as there are ways to interpret Scripture. A thousand people will express love a thousand different ways, none better or worse than another. We were created so uniquely for good reason.

To imitate any man so closely is to imitate their weaknesses as well as their strengths. To emulate their world view, their approach to devotion, their perspectives on doctrine, their lifestyle and their heart. By necessity, grace blankets men’s shortcomings to draw together imperfect people with incongruous hearts. But, if fortunate enough to be presented with a choice in the matter, be a disciple of someone with a similar heart. Even better, find someone who has the character and qualities that you want for yourself, and follow them so closely that the dust kicked up by their feet becomes a second skin.

I am having to live with a difficult decision in a similar vein, to leave a community which I love because of incongruous directions. Leaving these people whom I love very much leaves jagged edges and splinters in the rift. Aside from them, there is little left that retains me. This community is a hermit crab shell which I have outgrown. It was home to me and I will forever remember fondly of it, but it will never quite fit the way that it used to. My heart is resting on distant shores and new beginnings. Still looking for a shell that fits.