futures (cont.)

Okay, either no one's interested or no one's reading, but I'll post anyway.

Currently I am heavily invested in campus ministry. So heavily that my devotional (and personal) life hangs by a thread. Even in this stretched state, or maybe because of it, God has shown me the reaches of His grace and used me in inexplicable ways. This environment builds character and perseverance and Trust. I have grown because of it. However, it is difficult for me to enjoy it, save for merciful but short glimpses of heaven.

And as the school year traverses into its final quarter, the road begins its divide yet again...

I feel that God is leading me away from college ministry and giving me a heart for young professionals. A spiritual community has sprouted at my workplace completely by grace and the few post-graduates at White Harvest are fellowship starved, me included. It is my joy to take part in these communities. But God (or Min) has entrusted to me a handful of young men at UCLA as well. These guys are growing and I enjoy serving them as well, though I cannot give them the attention they deserve because of work. I am also unsure, because of my absence, if they are ready to be integrated into the larger ICA body. I need to be faithful to them as best as I am able.

So the question is, do I remain on campus staff next year? Am I willing to be stretched for another year? The more "successful" my ministry, the less time I have for devotionals and, well, laundry and stuff. I am unable to give my best to people on campus, at work, and at church at the same time. I know God would use me regardless as He has this year, but is there a better way?

The other option, discontinuing my staff responsibilities, presents its own problems. I spent a year as a White Harvest attendee, and it was good as I adjusted to working life and took a breather from ministry. But I do not want to return to that. There was a huge lack of peer fellowship and I felt out of place among the other graduates, who were all on staff. Is it possible to grow at White Harvest as a graduate without being fully committed to campus ministry? I hope so, because I don't want to leave.

There is hope yet. The beginnings of a post-grad fellowship are rising from the dust at WHEC, and I am hopeful that God will use it for His glory and for our good. Saturday Society 2.0? God started it and I have no idea where He will take it, but that sounds like everything else that is happening in my life.

There is also the question of my job, Los Angeles, and another issue that is hopelessly complicated. Oh, and music. So many roads but only one direction. Clarity come.

"Cast all your anxieties on Him, for He cares about you."
1 Peter 5:7