tribute

News and War

I saw hell on the news
In the eyes of his best friend
I heard hell on the radio again

I saw blood on the streets in the town of my birth
I saw ten shooting stars fall to dust on the earth
And I heard the animal sobs of his mother
I heard her plaintive lament

And I tried to explain but my tongue held no words
And I looked to the north but the city had burned
While ten thousand marines fell like rain on the earth
And each one was weeping for all he was worth

And they prayed
Oh my God
I will never understand until my dying day

I met a man with a broken back of stone
Wild-eyed in the park by my home

And he told me a tale of a fellow who'd died
And he said, girl, you couldn't believe if you tried
There was glory upon him like sun on the water
And if you'd been there you'd have cried like his daughter

For the waves became still as the crowd bared its teeth
And the raging machine joined its hand with the beast
And they laughed with a sneer as he shuddered and creaked
And I locked to his eyes as the tears coursed his cheeks

And he prayed
Oh my God
 They will never understand until their dying day

-Alex Rhodes Fleeman

it's been so long since i've seen the ocean

A long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leaving
Oh the days go by so fast

And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven
I wish you would

Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after 2 a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower
Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her

And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean
I guess I should

-Counting Crows, "A Long December"

hardest days

This guy was playing in a bar on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco, 8 or so years ago. I bought one of his CDs. Good stuff.
www.paulhayward.com

The hardest days are the ones that I must spend away
And leave you in your ocean home
The hardest times are the ones that I can't ease my mind
To know it's the miles that are tearing us apart
Not the lack of love left in our hearts
Oh, hardest days

The hardest nights are the ones I try with all my might
To close my eyes and fade away
And wake up to the hardest days
The hardest words are the ones that I have never heard
Of why it is you went away
These are words you did not say
Oh, hardest days

The hardest nights are the ones I try with all my might
To close my eyes and fade away
And wake up to the hardest days
Oh, hardest days

Paul Hayward - "Hardest Days"

o for a closer walk with god

O fire of God, come burn in me;
Renew a holy passion,
Till Christ my deepest longing be,
My never-failing fountain,
My never failing fountain.

What peaceful hours I once enjoyed,
How sweet the memory still!
But they have left an aching void
The world can never fill.

The dearest idol I have known,
Whatever that idol be,
Help me to tear it from thy throne,
And worship only thee.

So shall my walk be close with God,
Serene and calm my frame;
So purer light shall mark the road
That leads me to the Lamb.

-William Cowper, Stuart Townend, & Keith Getty

may your voice

May your voice cry bodily out of my chest
May your tears fill my eyes for your children oppressed
May your feet carry me 'till I come to your rest
May your light illumine my inky darkness

I was led to the garden, I knelt there and wept
And I shook like a leaf in a rainstorm
And I heaved my sin up
Against your forgiveness
For who am I but a seed amongst thorns

It caught on the cross in whose shadow I crept
Come quickly, Lord Jesus, I long for your rest

-Isaac Watters

none other lamb

None other lamb, none other name
No hope in all the earth or sea
No hiding place from guilt and shame
None but thee.

My faith burns low, my hope burns low
Yet my desire cries out in me
The thunder of its want and woe
Cries to thee.

Lord, thou art life, though I be dead
Love's fire thou art when cold I be
No place have I to lay my head
None but thee.

None other lamb, none other name
None other hope in heaven or earth or sea
None other hiding place from guilt or shame
None beside thee.

-Christina Rossetti, "None Other Lamb"

i'll be

I told myself a long time ago that I wouldn't write any more songs like this. Oh well. Is it better streamed from Youtube like this or Soundclick like I did a few posts down? Youtube kills the audio quality but is more familiar. I put the mp3 file on Soundclick for download, link below.

I promise
To do right by you
I promise
My walls come down for you
Today and tomorrow I'll be the same

I'll be the one
With an open shoulder to lean on
I'll be the one
To shield you from the cold and broken
The tears I cannot wipe away
I'll shed as if my own

When you speak
I'll hold my tongue
I'll take my time out
Until you're done
Leave the car in
Park and let it
Idle on and
Watch the parking lot close

I'll be the one
With an open shoulder to lean on
I'll be the one
To shield you from the cold and broken
The tears I cannot wipe away
I'll shed as if my own
Even as the world is spinning
Right now this feels like home

One hour
Eight months
Two years
I'll wait
Lord I'll wait

I'll be the one
With an open shoulder to lean on
I'll be the one
To shield you from the cold and broken
The tears I cannot wipe away
I'll shed as if my own
Even though the clock is ticking
If you would just not go

Download the MP3

the long way home

Wrote this a while ago, couldn't really tell you what it's about, different things here and there. I wasn't sure if I wanted to post the video, but I'm too lazy to record it again, so here it is. I have gotten used to listening to my own voice, but watching myself sing is still pretty weird. My mouth doesn't move enough.

You look up and see
Pieces of me
Singing all your favorite songs
Beautiful lies
They're more beautiful
Through your eyes
The red of the roses
Loses its composure
Next to you

I won't stand
Cuz I probably won't live to get another chance
No I won't stand
Right here is where I remembered who I am
You can't make me, you can't make me
Forget about this
I'm gonna take the long way home

I don't think I'm crazy
But from what I hear lately
They can't say there's nothing wrong

I don't know you but I let you take the wheel
I don't love you but I love the way you make me feel
Every time it goes around
The ferris wheel goes faster now
I just like the ride
I'm not scared of heights
I'll just wait my turn I'll stand in line

the good fight (leaving song)

You fight the good fight don't ask me to stay
The sun's in your eyes but you don't look away
By your side I took the beating of a lifetime
So please don't mind
If my blood gets on your shirt
I'll get you a new one, get you a new one
One that's better than the first
Just don't go away when I need you the most
Leave me holding the rope, I don't yet have a grip
So what? I can't stand on my own
I'll admit that you are the better man

All I have to give I gave
Change the rules to better play your games
And this chain around my neck is wearing thin
Oh thin

Count me out of this round but not the race
I'm bruised but not beaten, worn but not weakened
Still got some fight in me yet
Seven years, and I'm not who I was when I started
If you would see last insufficiencies past, through this scarlet letter
Maybe I, maybe things would be different
I wish I could look you in the eye without hesitation

Oh I'm learning to walk without crutches
Oh I'm learning to love with a heart that is busted
So make a little room
Clear a little space if I stumble

Oh I'm learning to walk without crutches
Oh I'm learning to love with a heart that is busted
Find a little place
Any little space of my own

sail the sea

Wrote a new song earlier tonight sitting on my balcony thinking about Where the Wild Things Are. My balcony is pretty chill, just installed some mood lights. It's kinda loud too and I was using my laptop mic, so the audio sucks. Oh well, deal with it.



Oh I would sail the sea
Fight the ocean endlessly
To take back what belongs to me

The moon it glows
It’s gravity throws
The compass of my heart to where
An “X” will mark the spot and there

We could run around
We could build a home
We could laugh and play and jump for joy
Make a mess and walk away

These four walls
Do not a prison make
I’ll cut the bars and blow the doors
Sing the guard a song it goes like this
La la la

And he’ll let me free
Send me on my way
Clap his hands and stamp his feet
Tip his hat and say to me

“You should sail the sea
Fight the waves endlessly
I want you to forget about me.”

We have run around
We have built a home
We have laughed and played and jumped for joy
Made a mess and walked away

Now its time for bed
You sleepy heads
By the light of the rising moon
I can’t help but sing this tune
La la la

taylor swift cover

You (Don't) Belong With Me - Taylor Swift Cover

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, you're upset
She's going off about something that I said
'Cause you don't get my humor like I do
I'm in the room it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music you don't like
And you'll never know my story like I do

Cuz you wear short skirts, I wear T-shirts
You're cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been gone a long time

If you could see that I just don't understand you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You don't belong with me, you don't belong with me

Walkin' the streets with you and your stone washed jeans
What was I thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
This isn't easy

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since I brought you down
You say were fine, I know us better than that
What am I doing with a girl like that?

You wear high heels, I wear sneakers
You're cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been gone a long time

If you could see that I just don't understand you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You don't belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know, baby
You don't belong with me

Oh I remember you drivin' to my house
In the middle of the night
When you know you're about to laugh
I'm the one who makes you cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's not with me

Can't you see that I'm the one who doesn't love you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You don't belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know, baby
You don't belong with me, you don't belong with me
You don't belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You don't belong with me, you don't belong with me

free time is an interesting thing...

...when we don't have it we lust for it and when we do have it we're not sure what to do with it.

One evening last summer, about 8 or 9 o'clock on a weekday, I went out to my building's patio with an electric guitar. My fingers found two chords that sounded interesting together and the sky reminded me of the stars I've seen in less light polluted places. I started to string together some words.

This song came out over the next couple of days and I recorded it so I wouldn't forget it. Then I forgot it. I found it again last week and messed around with it. It's rough, I think you can hear Elliot's voice in the beginning if you turn it up. I experimented with drums in Fruity Loops, virtual amplifiers, crappy synth playing, and T-Pain style autotune. Enjoy!

Also, I realized I haven't taken any real pictures in a while, so I made a quick video for it last night.



The stars are out tonight
The skies are filled with light
Galaxies come and sit within reach of these fingertips
As I wander
As I forget everything

And the sound of silence overwhelms me
Can you hear the wind echo like thunder
As cars drive by they sing their song
Spirit come and stand beside me

Maybe I'll die
Maybe I'll die
Maybe I'll die on this patio tonight

Patio.

concrete river

Light shines through my window
Is it sunlight or artificial

Light shines through my window
Is it sunlight or artificial

This concrete river is a bed of nails for me
And the cold black asphalt will hold my bones for all to see
And if I drown in the middle of the city can my soul I keep
Or will the glow of headlights show the way to sleep on golden streets

When the chips are down
And luck's run out
When all hope is gone
I'll always have you

I much prefer the nighttime to the day
Because in the dark they won't remark how far I've gone astray
We can stand on even ground and maybe on my toes for just one
Second I can pretend I am just as good as you

This concrete river is a bed of nails for me
And the cold black asphalt will hold my bones for all to see
And if I drown in the middle of the city can my soul I keep
Or will the glow of headlights show the way to sleep on golden streets

Light shines through my window
Is it sunlight or artificial?

a departure

I'm not sure where my head was at yesterday, but this is what fell out of it. I think I might have ripped off Flight of the Conchords.



Today I start my rap career
Traded my guitar for some iced out gear
Said bye to my ma and pa
A gangster don't need them at all
Got money dead presidents is all I need

I'll leave this world behind
To see what I can find
In the rap game

First thing's first gonna need some killer beats
Wonder what Timbaland's up to this week
Hey dude that's all played out
Gonna have to do this myself
I'd sell my soul for a number one

I'll leave this world behind
To see what I can find
In the rap game

Next come the things I'll rap about
What are those things they rap about?
Money and power, women and fame
Guess I'll have to watch Scarface again
That's just something us gangsters gotta do

[guitar solo]

What was that? It was the guitar solo
What do you mean rap songs don't have guitar solos?
I guess I have a lot to learn
I'll have to do it while earn
A couple of Grammys on my way to being a star

I'll leave this world behind
To see what I can find
In the rap game

(sorry for the terrible beat-boxing, it's my first day)

new york to la

started on the road in Kansas somewhere...

I have no past
I have no future
I'm coming in last
I'm coming in last

Is this home
Alone on the road
Is this what you wanted
On your own

Are we destined
Are we purposed
I'm losing my breath but
Finding the surface

You're not finished
It's not over
Flip the switch on
That four leaf clover

I'm making my way
New York to LA
Here between
Is where I'll stay

Are we destined
Are we purposed
I'm losing my breath but
Finding the surface

Tear down the molds

written 04.27.09

Guest appearance by my roommate

Someday soon
There will be
An end to chaos
A chance for peace

Someday maybe
Day will break
Kingdoms crumble
The dead awake

You have seen it all
The world come to an end
You start the fire watch it burn
From the ashes you'll return
Moving on
Moving on

Speak the language long forgotten
Of broken chains and laws abolished
Of blood and sweat and tears and heartache
Of life and love and walls demolished

You have seen it all
The world come to an end
You start the fire watch it burn
From the ashes you'll return
Moving on
Moving on

believe in love

written 03.04.09

Everybody's broken
Everybody's swearing without sound
Looking for the answers
Looking for the easiest way out

Well I ain't got your answers
I don't know what makes the world go round
All we have is reasons
All we are is empty in the end

But there's Love
But there's Love
That's enough
That's enough
With all the weight of the world on you
Push it back or come unglued
There is Love
Believe in Love

We all got our problems
I'm dirtier than you will ever know
It takes one to know one
We're all to scared to let our insides show

But there's Love
But there's Love
That's enough
That's enough
With all the weight of the world on you
Push it back or come unglued
There is Love
Believe in Love

I'm giving up the temporary
I'm letting it go
Happy is a yuppy word
In case you didn't know
I didn't know the world existed
I didn't think it showed
Everybody's brokenhearted
Everybody's broken

traitors

Another day, another recording. (I recorded these a while ago, just haven't put them up for some reason.) See Links section <----

If you have Facebook and haven't yet added as a fan, I will buy you a cookie* if you do.

Traitor Song
LK2234

I come before you now
With nothing but the sound
Of my heart beating loud
For you

A thousand times I've turned my back
You are faithful Lord

So won't you take me even deeper
Won't you take me even deeper
Spirit take me even deeper now

In the wake of my mistakes
There is grace
*not binding, restrictions apply

in your time

There is time
Where your fields lay empty,
There is time
To be torn down,
There is time
For the broken hearted,
There is time, there is time.

And here I stand,
With the name of God upon my heart,
The name of God upon my heart,
The name of God will never part with me.

You make all things beautiful,
In Your time

There is time
When the nations will turn to You,
There is time
For hearts to heal,
There is time
When the old die young
And the cold find warmth
When the heavens open,
The heavens open.

Listen

Sigh, I only have time for single take acoustic recordings these days...

I kinda wanna see if I can get a lineup to play stuff out somewhere. Anyone interested?

a view from the road (unfinished)

Why's your light on at this time?
I can see it from the street.
Is there something on your mind?
Is there something you can't beat?

Windows frosted in your hotel suite,
Crossed the state line but still cant sleep.