I have somehow gotten it into my head that only things that are difficult are worth doing. That any endeavor which rides the hard road is superior to one which cruises the easy road. That self-denial and sacrifice are badges of honor and holiness. My actions and decisions have reflected that philosophy and, for the most part, I think that I am better for it.
It is true that life inevitably brings difficultly and that persevering through it breeds true depth of character. I would go so far to say that we should pursue lives of purpose and adversity as opposed to lives of comfort and complacency. However, saying that everything MUST be difficult to be valuable is fallacy. Following that is to fall into a strange variation of works based salvation, where blessing is bought with suffering.
I admit that I have bought into this big time. I may have fooled myself into thinking that only the hard road leads to heaven. Easy roads are too easy to be good. This is a mistake. If I am being offered a wonderful gift, I do not want to refuse it because I haven't done anything to deserve it. To do so is to deny the Cross. Ours is not to judge the roughness of the road, ours is but to follow the compass in faith.
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your version of self-flagellation
ReplyDeleteWhat makes all the suffering and difficulty of life worth it? I always come to the conclusion that we are stuck with it (life) and gotta do what we gotta do and try to obey the One who's orchestrating all this. Then, the lucky and chosen few (very few) will enjoy a close relationship with Christ, but only along with a life-long suffering and insane amount of effort. Meanwhile, the vast majority will live, suffering... only surviving through temporary pleasures. How depressing is that? Perhaps I'll see things differently tomorrow but this is the lens I have on tonight as I struggle to sleep.
ReplyDeleteelliot i am glad that you are willing to wrestle these days. feel free to call whenever you need to talk.
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