leadership

A good leader is not void of weakness. A good leader surrounds himself with people who can be strong where he is weak.

johnny cash was a gangster

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

[cover of NIN - Hurt]

extravagant worship

I have been going through Mark for quiet times and came to this passage in Mark 14 about Jesus' anointing at Bethany. It is a demonstration of the kind of worship that God desires from us: Worship that is extravagant. This is right before the Last Supper leading to Jesus’ crucifixion. Jesus knows what he must go through very soon. I imagine his countenance would be pretty somber and serious. Let’s read Mark 14:3-9.

Jesus Anointed at Bethany:

³While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.

⁴Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, "Why this waste of perfume? ⁵It could have been sold for more than a year's wages and the money given to the poor." And they rebuked her harshly.

⁶"Leave her alone," said Jesus. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. ⁷The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. ⁸She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. ⁹I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."

This passage is found also in the other three gospels. Matthew and Mark do not identify the woman. Luke says it was a “woman who had lived a sinful life” (possibly Mary Magdalene), and John says it is Mary sister of Martha.

In any case, this woman who is familiar with Jesus pours an alabaster jar of nard on Jesus, anointing Him just days before his crucifixion. Nard is a rare and expensive spice from the Himalayas and was very expensive. A typical alabaster jar was thin and not more than 6 or 8 inches high. Someone present says it is worth more than a year’s wages. So this is equivalent to a $40,000 dollar bottle of CK Obsession for Men. It is probably her most treasured possession. But instead of a light spritz, she breaks the whole jar and empties it completely on Jesus.

"Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year's wages and the money given to the poor." And they rebuked her harshly.

The practical part of me agrees with that voice in the crowd. There could be much better uses for something so valuable. They could do a lot of good with that money, or at least use the perfume slowly in sane amounts. I’m sure Jesus knew that also, but He rebukes the crowd. He calls it a beautiful act. He accepts this act of worship and here we are reading about it 2000 years later.

"Leave her alone," said Jesus. "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me…You will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."

We learn to be practical and efficient, and those are useful qualities. This is how we balance our responsibilities and survive as students, as employees and as Christians. We need to be practical and efficient to be good stewards of what God has given us. But guess what? God is not impressed with our practicality, at least not in worship. In a relationship, a girl would never say to her boyfriend, “Boyfriend, I love that you are able to love me so efficiently.” That's not how relationships work.

The same goes for our relationship with Christ. Spending time with God is not about getting the biggest return for our investment. If it were, we shouldn’t be developing a relationship with Him, we should be developing a portfolio. But that’s how we treat it sometimes. If we invest a certain amount of time into prayer and church and discipleship and people, we hope to get a certain amount of return on the investment in the form of blessings or growth.

Except Jesus shows us that worship is not about practicality, it is about EXTRAVAGANCE. In no other situation would it be beautiful to use a $40,000 bottle of perfume like that. And it is not about the amount of money either. The poor widow who gave her only 2 pennies was no less extravagant. It is about the heart and the circumstances behind the act. The kind of worship that pleases God is the kind that turns its back on practicality to say that He is deserving of all glory and every glory. When we give extravagantly we are telling God that He is our real treasure. We are saying that our earthly treasures come from Him anyway and that we value the giver more than the gift.

Practicality is about returns, extravagance does not care. There are two ways to fix a car. One way is to fix it for functionality, to replace what is broken just to get it running. This is the most efficient way. The second way is to restore it, to meticulously make sure that every nut and bolt is shiny, even polishing the underside that no one will ever see. Very few people will be able to appreciate the time and effort that goes into it. But that car becomes more than just transportation, it becomes a treasure to it's owner. So how do we treat our worship? Do we just make sure that it runs or do we make it shine?

Extravagant worship does not neglect our responsibilities; the poor, in this example. It is displaying faith that God doesn’t need us to carry out His will. He wants our focus to be on Him first. Everything else, even our mission and ministry and responsibilities come second to that. Extravagant worship demonstrates trust that God will provide for everything else.

This could mean setting aside our most attentive hour of the day for quiet time, or putting extra time into a banquet skit to make it perfect, or staying up all night to comfort a friend. It is basically going the extra mile when it comes to God. Matthew 5:40-41 says,

If someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.

Go two miles for God, even if you can get away with going just one. The extra mile is the one that really puts a smile on God’s face. The extra mile silences the voices which say that the perfume could have been used for more practical purposes. Not for a return on the investment, but for love and out of genuine worship. Efficiency is not a fruit of the spirit.

I speak as one who has failed at this continuously. I love efficiency. There’s nothing wrong with being efficient or practical, but I know I have missed out on a lot of blessings because of it. Homework and studying took me away from worshiping extravagantly when I was an undergrad. I was always looking for a quick exit from ministry activities so I could study for that midterm or finish that problem set. Looking back now I barely remember any of my classes but I would give anything to be able fellowship with my class again. At work, my desire for a professional image keeps me from extravagant worship. I don’t want to be known as a Jesus freak and I want to be respected by my colleagues. This year as staff, maybe worst of all, I have accepted the adequate completion of tasks as a substitute for extravagant worship. I hope you guys don’t make the same mistakes.

Once again, our relationship with God is not to be reduced to a portfolio, to investment versus return. He has already given us the most extravagant gift of all in Jesus Christ. He is deserving of worship of the same caliber.

[UCLA ICA, 5-21-2009]
..feedback welcome..

message, 5-21-2009

Speaking tonight at UCLA ICA, Royce 3rd floor 6:30PM.

Will post full text tomorrow :)

to be young again

to return to innocence...

when life was simpler...

and joy needed no excuse.

informercial remix

wake up

Ever wake up and question reality? Ever have a hard time believing how everything has come together? Ever unsure of yourself?

I'm not, cuz I know everything and have all the answers to life.

Anyway, I'm speaking next Thursday at ICA UCLA rally.
Anxious? Nah. I never mess up.

iphone

I just bought an iPhone on eBay :)

Unrelated:

from Concord Music Group on Vimeo

the valley of dry bones

The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?"
I said, "O Sovereign LORD, you alone know."

Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.' "

So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.

Then he said to me, "Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live.' " So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.

Then he said to me: "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, 'Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.' Therefore prophesy and say to them: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: O my people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you, my people, will know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.' "

-Ezekiel 37:1-14

God breathe life into my dry bones.

new york to la

started on the road in Kansas somewhere...

I have no past
I have no future
I'm coming in last
I'm coming in last

Is this home
Alone on the road
Is this what you wanted
On your own

Are we destined
Are we purposed
I'm losing my breath but
Finding the surface

You're not finished
It's not over
Flip the switch on
That four leaf clover

I'm making my way
New York to LA
Here between
Is where I'll stay

Are we destined
Are we purposed
I'm losing my breath but
Finding the surface

Tear down the molds

turn the corner

The command is simple:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these.
-Mark 23:30-31

We are the ones who complicate things.
We are the ones who give ourselves to methods and rules and limitations and condemnations.
We keep paying interest on a debt that has long been settled.
Less we, for once.
More You.

Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
-Psalm 42:11

Thanks Amy, that coffee was amazing. Bavarian black cherry right?